nadine jensen

I'm 18, not young neither old enough to fully define what life is. One thing I'm certain about is that, I struggle to live. We all do. We are one and the same in this fact, and the other is that we all have our own ordeal to face, but what makes each of us different and unique is how we stand up, face and deal with life's challenges.

On my most recent previous post, I've mentioned that me and my mom's relationship with one another is quite hazy. And to update you, well we've had some short exchange of words already, well mostly when I ask something from her and that's it. A development, quite dragging though. But how did it all started? If I have to give details of it, well I can't recall the main reason why we started not talking, maybe because several other reasons came about and I can no longer distinguish which is the real point of this misunderstanding. It's a misunderstanding, a reason to be considered with an additional miscommunication or lack of communication at all, inhibitions and miscalculated apprehensions to spice it up. To even get things boiling, well, I'm the kind of daughter who would hesitate to say sorry. Yes I know, I am the daughter, younger and lesser than the parent and if there is one person to give that apology, that would be me. It's crystal clear to me and I surely know this. But I resist, not that I don't want to say sorry, but I choose not to, for now. My stubborn reason for this is, if I say sorry and then commit more offenses, it's just like I never valued my apology and the forgiveness she'll give me. And I know that I am yet to commit more mistakes, mistakes that could disappoint her AGAIN, so I choose to save my apology for the right time, the time when I can fully assure myself and my mom that I have less tolerance for an another mistake.

The challenge here is to show her I'm changing, and not to just bluff nor deceive her with my apologetic words. I want to show her that I really am sorry rather than just tell her I am. Well I hope she'll understand the delay. And I also hope that you could relate well with my reason. Well your entitled to your own opinion and I know that you also have your own piece of mind for this, but for me, this is my piece of mind.