Payaso

Every year the Negros Summer Workshop holds summer classes for artists who are into movie making, acting, improvisation, writing and directing. A lot of directors who made it mainstream availed of the classes which was spearheaded by Director Peque Gallaga who this year assisted the classes after retiring from his work. He's still helps in overseeing and holding some lessons but he no longer has his full hands on it. 

I was invited by Faye Ramos, a student from the workshop to cast in their movie output. I readily said yes since it's really a challenge and I want to be of help to them knowing how hard it is to create a short film based on our class experiences during our movie production class the previous semester. So my role was a discontented social climber whose husband was imprisoned for murder and I'm now living with another lover. So we went on script reading and on the day of the location visit, we shot the whole movie. It took us one whole afternoon until the evening.

I have my name here haha

Meet my son, Jimbot. :)

Finishing some shots for the film, "my lover" Francis and and "my ex-con husband" Direk Philip

The man I chose over my ex-con hubby :))

With Philip, our director and Chelcie the cinematographer 

Processing session after the films were shown, with Mr. Manny Montelibano

Chelcie, Danielle, Celyne, Nelson and Neil

La Sallian Summer

Untitled from nadine Jensen Hautea on Vimeo.

As part of the cultural affairs program, we created the summer school id for summer class 2011. We would like to thank Fiel Efenio the creator of iRative minds for shooting the video with us and of course to all the people who participated in this video, for your kindness, time and overflowing energy. Thank you so much. :)

Summer's Twilight

In summer's twilight dawns a new adventure and a choice to make.

Unsure of my impulsiveness, I embark yet on another journey with a dilemma to deal with. Which would weigh more, not to go and remorse about it, always wondering what could have happened and the things I would miss or to go and find answers to all the what might have been's but further damage my already wrecked relationship with and trust of my parents.

I choose to go.
Consequences are a given and I know that they will always be there in one form or another in every choice that is made, so I'd rather have one that warrants me of good memories. I am young, wild and though not totally free, I make the most out of the little I have even if sometimes it would mean me trouble.

Boracay bound, this is my summer's last hurrah. :)


[Boracay entry will be posted as soon as I'm done sorting photos]

when the truth runs after you

this summer is a whole lie.

compulsive decisions coupled with irresponsiblity and lack of rationality equal to a major destruction and tangled situation. it is not something new to me, in fact my life can be considered dull without these and I would not be nadine if not for these. they don't sound good nor in any way admirable but living in lies and tailing problems have been my "life". sometimes lying about things is an easy solution to problems but of course temperamental. resolving to lying to conceal and escape from a sticky situation has become a convenience for me, reassuring myself that i will eventually find a solution and i will always try to come up with more excuses and more lies which eventually results to a pile of problems that have stacked and been forgotten. yes, problems can be ignored, they say its either you find a solution or you find another problem. word. if you don't let it linger and bother you, it won't, it'll just sit on the side until something comes up to uproot them and voila! you get caught offguard, left with no choice but to face it because running away can do nothing good. experience wise, these are proven facts, and to say that this happened to me and is happening now only shows that i never learned my lesson. sad. i should have known that on running i will always land on a dead end, whether i turn back and conquer or i jump off the cliff and die. and as usual, i won't make a choice, which worsens things, i'd rather stand there and wait for salvation, redemption, and a slim chance of miracle that all those problems will just drift. but it won't.

i'm still stuck in the point where the end imposes death and the other way, yields the same thing. where i stand feels the safest, yet. but i cannot be stuck here forever.

I miss riding in the car with mama.

If you've read about my previous blogs, I've already had a number of posts all dedicated to the love-hate relationship with my mom. If I try to trace back the reason how it all started, it would be really hard to sift through everything we've been through that took us to where we are now. Civil. Yes, me and my mom have been just civil with one another. It feels like we already have lost the mother-daughter connection that every child shares with their mother. It's ironic to think that most children are closer to their mothers, for a fact that our mothers were the ones who carried us for nine cumbersome months of their lives, shared one navel with them, and ate the same food that they take in, them feeling every kick and move inside the womb. They've sheltered and bore us for nine months without any complains, and as of the present they still do and maybe for as long they feel that we are still vulnerable and in need of their protection. That kind of love will never go away. It's true that no matter how crooked we turn out to be, no matter how bad we have become and unbearable our attitudes are, our mothers will always have that soft spot for us, enduring the pain that is caused by our wrongdoings. My mother has been obvious regarding how disappointed she is with me, and for my part, I am as disappointed as she is of how I've turned out to be. I truly understand her sentiments and the treatments that she's been evoking, because I deserve it, and I guess I deserve worse than it. It's a bit pathetic to think that sometimes I even have the guts to complain and feel bad towards her. Seeing things from the retrospect, it'll be me who has been a terrible daughter, and there's no better way to appease with her but to be who I really was. The "self" that I have lost.

Those memories I had could paint a picture-perfect mother and daughter relationship. But I ripped it apart.


I miss riding in the car with her. Talking with her. Laughing with her. And simply being with her.

Working Holiday

May 1 was a working holiday-weekend for us, nevertheless we had extreme fun under the scorching heat of the sun in an isolated white sand island strip in the middle of the ocean :) It was like paradise. The main work was to finish the summer i.d. for the student government of our school, so we decided to shoot it there for a very "summery" feel, plus with the hidden agenda of, well to have fun and to have a break from all of the loads we had the previous week. We invited a few people to be the talents of the video, and all together it was a bunch of high-energy individuals and vibrant personalities who were fun and easy to work with. Who wouldn't enjoy it? Sun, sand, water and of course good company. :)

the person behind the photographs and the video, Fiel

first test shot for the underwater shoot 

the people who made it possible and fun: tim, nelson, nestor, je ann, martin, raina, marc

my scrubbing partner while soaking in the water

Nelson, having his own time with the lens

Martin, the eye candy of the girls hahaha

because he won't let it pass without his own underwater pichooor

yes, we toasted ourselves under the heat of the sun and complained of sunburns afterwards