A New Start, Again

We all get fresh starts from some endings, and it's always up to us how to use this chance, this new beginning. I do sound redundant, but just let me be, I know I am. See? Okay, so fresh start, there we begin from words "new", "start", "beginning", "fresh"... all these words sound promising, because they really are. It's like you're handed with a clean sheet of paper, and you are about to make a new masterpiece, but then you start to be apprehended, to feel scared, afraid to taint that clean sheet with a possible err in a masterpiece, something that will affect the finish product. Okay, so it may not be visible to whoever sees your finish product, because artists have their way of concealing mistakes in their works, and that we never get to notice them, but only themselves know about it. They know that there was a mistake somewhere. Let's not talk a bout mistakes, let's try not to, it will only make things hard to begin with. So this is what I'm talking about...

Second sem's gonna start in a few hours, and as the usual, the previous one isn't worth bragging about. The usual slacking off, absences, mediocrity, complacency seasoned my previous semester, giving it a bland taste of success. I've been an underachiever ever since I started my college, not a good start, and it's followed by a streak of failures and disappointments, a couple of distractions from here and there, these things did not bring me back on the right track. And still, I'm offtrack, but that doesn't mean that I will always lose the direction. So the break I had, spent it over thinking, overanalyzing, overreacting, and overestimating things, used up all of my energy sulking, moping and complaining a LOT. It's time I shed off the negativity in me. Here I am again, challenging myself to a better semester. It's time to make good and impressive grades.

Relationships, this part is tricky here and a bit difficult to get into the details. Venturing into the unknown version of relationship, maybe not unknown, just the untouched aspect of the different faces of relationships because I've admittedly failed and faired badly at it, getting a head-on confrontation on "love",  this one deserves a good start. Not that it hadn't started yet, but giving it a fresh start everyday will keep things different and promising all the time. (See, I'm not really good at it, I don't know if I'm even making any sense)

Blogging or writing has given me catharsis, but as I've browsed through my blog entries and journal entries which I keep to myself because I can get severely cheesy at times, I've noticed how much of a downer I have been lately. Most of the entries were very depressing, sounded lost and sad, spiteful and regretful. To think that I've been like that for a long time now, I feel like I've wasted so much of the precious time, opportunities and energy by allowing myself to be possessed by so much negativity in me. What happened to the "inspiring" and "positive" person I want to be? Well, she took a break and relished in the sadness of life, but now I'm starting to get rid of those destructive emotions. Not that I'm totally blocking those emotions, but to start feeling these emotions in moderation when necessary. It's not that bad to feel sad at times, I always believe that in sadness, we can appreciate the value of happiness. So I'm harboring all the positive energies to write about positive and constructive posts, to keep that fervor of inspiring people.

Chances are unlimited, just as the possibilities, people may give you only a few of it or even try to suppress you from having it, but life won't. Life is an endless cycle of mistakes and lessons learned, and in every failure, in every downfall comes a new beginning, a better one if you will it to be.