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Saturday, June 11, 2011

If there's only one thing in this world that has never judged nor gave any prejudices, it is this blog. This is the only place where I find myself being honest the most, where I'm never scared to tell, to disclose, to pour out, and to be true.

Coursing through a rough and thorny pathway, my feet, myself, my emotions are wounded, but I never complained, I keep on walking knowing deep in my heart, with all these I will get to the end and by then I will find that everything was all a part of that journey.

I always find myself wishing to be in someone else's shoes for a day, live a different kind of life, exist in a parallel dimension. Everything need not to be perfect, everything need not to be the way I want it to, just different. Having to compare what I have at the present and what I could possibly have, maybe I will find comfort that between the two, something's better, then I will have to settle for what's more bearable. Maybe what I need is something better than what's I have at the moment. A breather, a break probably.

When I look at myself,  when I examine my actions, when I clarify my intentions I can see that I am not that bad at all. I can see a struggling person, trying to find herself, trying to make the best out of her life, trying to figure out what life is, trying to discover what life and world has to give, trying to explore beyond her boundaries, trying to chase her dreams, trying to live her life like every person's right.

Breaking down, giving up on life and probably hating are the possible options, but I choose neither of them, rather I choose to laugh, to smile, to understand, to endure and to continue life as how it should be lived. I could've given up on my dreams or worse, destroyed my life, watch myself and my future go down the drain, lose myself in drugs or maybe get pregnant, but I didn't. I could have blamed them, but I didn't. Proving one's self for someone else should not be the top of the mind, if you do so, you lose yourself, you lose the person who's ought to be the person he should be and you find someone you could not recognize, someone who's not you, someone who wasted and sacrificed his life to be able to realize someone's frustration.


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