Love Sick (Barfs)

While watching wedding videos and listening to vows, I realized how love sick I am, that I still have that hopeless romantic lurking inside me. We all are sucker for happy endings and fairy tale like stories, even the most cynical beings have that secretly and buried deep down inside them, hating to admit it as a sign of, maybe, a rebellion against things that are superficial, but we all are superficial, we also just hate to admit it.

I take it as an inside joke on me whenever I feel both a cynic and a believer, when I doubt the things I believe and believe in the things I doubt. It's inexplicable but such thing exists in me.

How many times have we seen ourselves married to the person we are with right now? How many times have we had replaced the person we used to be with? Looking at a relationship as something that has no end is good while the spark is there, while the person remains the same the very first time we knew them, however, what happens when reality kicks in, when the person we thought we knew is someone different? Do we still see a future with them? Do we still see love like there's no end in sight?

To keep a relationship a lasting one, requires a lot of things, to begin with it is also something. So what's with the love sickness? The thing about being in love is when you see past through what's right in front of you, to believe even in the most impossible and to feel emotions you've never felt before. It is when quotes become part of your conversations, it's when love stories become relatable you even want to call them your own, it's when you start looking at the future holding that same hand you're holding now, it's when you feel scared but keep pushing forward anyway, it's when you start blogging about it.

When love kicks in, the doubts are kicked out. It's is entrusting yourself to the person, knowing that he might not perfectly handle you, but he will endure handling you and hold on to you no matter what. Yes, you may have imagined how your house will be, your wedding, how your vows will be delivered and what they will contain, you also have created names for your babies while you feel butterflies in your stomach, but it's not just about happy days, glorious days, it's about facing everyday no matter how ugly and awful it could be and making it end magically. Love is about hard work, it's not always like the fairy tales because even fairy tales tell us that there are villains to be taken down and struggles to be overcome to get to our happy ending.

Don't judge me, I'm feeling extra sensitive, and I hope you should too.