nadine jensen

when you choose to find who you are, you have two choices, to become the person you want to be and lose everything that was about you or to be the person who you are.

i'm about to turn twenty and i don't have anything to consider as a milestone. twenty years have passed and everything is a blur when i look back, nothing sticks out that i consider as a defining moment aside from the outstanding fights and troubles i had and the rubble that i was and is am. when i talk about my life i find it unbelievable that people find it unbelievable. honestly, my life is not inspiring, is not exciting, it's just a chain of repeated mistakes that sometimes could get worse than the previous. happy memories cannot completely compensate for the degree of gravity of my mistakes, they could not suffice to neutralize them either. i am not in the state of melancholy right now, i'm having a spontaneous realization that suddenly hit me hard. when i look back and look ahead, these two give me equal anxiety.

classes have begun and i have the conscious effort not to screw it up, but in the middle of the semester, the passion will eventually die down. i want to shed off a part of me i don't know what.