Post-Birthday Recall

Yes! You got it right, I have just celebrated my birthday. The date was March 16 and it was a Tuesday. :)

I have officially turned 19. Most friends I know are so anxious to reach this age. I thought it was weird for them to feel as such, because 19 only means after 18 and before 20. It's inescapable and you just can't skip it just because you don't feel right about it. Well, that's their case, 19 is an age between your teens and the second decade of your life which for some is the point of adulthood. It bothers them because they just can't figure out where to place themselves and how they should act accordingly to their age. Funny again. It's simple, you just have to digest that fact in your system and live with it and live on it. You don't have to confuse yourself. Alright, it's their problem and not mine, but I don't want to seem insensitive, I just find it ridiculous to have such an issue with the age. Poor 19.

The first phone call I received that day when the clock struck twelve was a sign of the bliss that was yet to come. That call started it all. How could my day get even better after that phone call? Well I was already happy enough to hear the person form the other end of the line greeting me my first "Happy Birthday". I didn't plan any elaborate celebrations nor thought of even celebrating it. For me, I was already happy to have another year added to my life, that alone was a blessing for me. Oh well, I was also expecting gifts though. hahaha! Anyhow, that childish thought dissipated when my classmates sang me a Birthday song and even repeated it several times, I just can't take off the smile on their face. I'm a sucker for mushy things and that gesture was mushy enough to make even my heart smile. See how cheeseball I could be? hahaha! Thanking my friends wasn't enough, because the most important person I should thank is God. It's my first time in my 18 years to visit the church on my birthday without being told. It's embarrassing to admit, but yes, every year, I never really went to the church with my personal will because I've always been reminded me by my mom. My mom's quite a nagger and she could really get a bit pushy when it comes on things that she asks me to do, so I've always ended up disobeying her. hahaha! BUT, this time I went to the church with my own free will, not only with freedom but with feeling of responsibility as well. I thought this should start it all, a year that is and will be anchored towards God.

My thank you's were so much that I felt thanking Him won't be enough and my thank you's will be unending. Here's the "corniest mushiest" thing I did that day, something that came out of my thoughts suddenly and was very difficult to ignore, I texted my parents. Okay, so you're thinking that it's just a text, but for me it meant all my pride (I was too proud to acknowledge things and people who have supported me tsk.. tsk...) to send those texts to my parents. The text contained my gratefulness and apologies that I deprived them for years. I've been a lousy daughter. So when they got my message, my dad tried to call me BUT I turned down his calls. haha! I was too shy and too bothered with how he will react to it knowing that my dad's the emotional one. I know he would even smother the moment with his own mushiness. hahaha! When I went to see my mom, I didn't have the face to show her and I haven't mustered courage to find her reaction. It's either she'll just tease me in a very disturbing and gross manner that you couldn't even imagine your mom doing it to you. I even counted several 1-10's just to calm myself down, maybe it took me a hundred seconds or more to let my anxiety subside. It was just the most beautiful weirdness I've ever felt.

I had a late lunch with my cousin. It was my birthday treat to her. And it was the most memorable lunch I had with her. We recalled the last time we had lunch in that restaurant and it was when our lola was still alive and it has been years since then. We had random memory recalls and had the best laugh in each topic we talked about, more than half of it were our childhood memories which included the times when all of my female cousins and i would share the bathroom during bath time and the sleepovers we had every summer and vacation and the late night talks and midnight snacks we shared. Those memories were the best and those memories refreshed me of the years that have gone by. Time flies so fast. That day she told me that she was leaving on Thursday, she's moving to Cebu after she got hired in a job. i felt a sudden rush of sadness. One by one, they left and that those childhood memories were the ones that we will all be sharing together and in the next years to come we will all be leading different lives already. sigh. I had dinner with friends and that dinner was simply awesome. I can tell that we have a very dynamic bunch of personalities. It's always a laugh trip when we're together and most of the time we talk about how dreadful college life could be from time to time, but despite that fact we still never failed to make good memories from the nightmares we had. Each person has his or her own quirk and that makes each and everyone of us interesting. It was never a clash of personalities and beliefs, in fact these things gave us perfect harmony. My tummy got gaseous after that dinner. hahaha!

The next day was the continuation of my birthday. Yes, it had an extension. this time it was an intimate talk with my best friend Glyness. It's amazing because when things don't go well, there's always a force that brings our paths together, to be there for one another and to keep each other company. Glyness has been my best friend since we were kids, about 4 maybe when we started school. She's the kind of friend that you don't see often but is around when you're in dire need. Our relationship is like that, we're not too clingy with each other but when we're together we always make our presence felt. So we had frappes too cool us off and updated one another with each other's lives. We didn't linger though, but it was really good to see her.:)

So it's how I spent my 19th year, no big celebration, just intimate conversation with special people in my life. It was mostly a recall of how my years were spent and it gave me time to ponder on the things that happened and how I'm gonna straighten my crook and make up for what I've lost. It was simple yet memorable.


Nineteen for me is my point of new beginning, it's the phase where you bid goodbye to your teenage years, the craziest years of your life wherein you thought you had everything right before you and all you needed to do was just try it all and experiment with your self, years of immature acts, reckless choices and care-free living. The thought of you being invincible just pushes you even further from your limitations. The years of personal struggles that you try to hide from the people around you while feigning an act that you're too fly to go through the shits in life and that everything is just possible because you can do anything and is willing to do anything just to put on a show of "coolness". Years of selfish decisions that weren't well-thought-of, decisions that only involved the three most important pronouns in your life, Me-Myself-and-I. And of course it's the age wherein you start to prepare and prep-up yourself for a more "challenging" chapter of your life, the adulthood. I don't imply that when you reach nineteen you already are an adult. Adulthood is subjective and relative, some mature at a very young age while others still don't outgrow their juvenile ways even if their age already contradicts their ways. Well, you're almost there when you turn 19 and this point ushers you to the bigger, better and even worse things yet to come and it would be very unfortunate if you're still stuck-up with your old ways of facing your life. I think 19 is exciting.



So to those turning 19, embrace your year. :))