when the truth runs after you

this summer is a whole lie.

compulsive decisions coupled with irresponsiblity and lack of rationality equal to a major destruction and tangled situation. it is not something new to me, in fact my life can be considered dull without these and I would not be nadine if not for these. they don't sound good nor in any way admirable but living in lies and tailing problems have been my "life". sometimes lying about things is an easy solution to problems but of course temperamental. resolving to lying to conceal and escape from a sticky situation has become a convenience for me, reassuring myself that i will eventually find a solution and i will always try to come up with more excuses and more lies which eventually results to a pile of problems that have stacked and been forgotten. yes, problems can be ignored, they say its either you find a solution or you find another problem. word. if you don't let it linger and bother you, it won't, it'll just sit on the side until something comes up to uproot them and voila! you get caught offguard, left with no choice but to face it because running away can do nothing good. experience wise, these are proven facts, and to say that this happened to me and is happening now only shows that i never learned my lesson. sad. i should have known that on running i will always land on a dead end, whether i turn back and conquer or i jump off the cliff and die. and as usual, i won't make a choice, which worsens things, i'd rather stand there and wait for salvation, redemption, and a slim chance of miracle that all those problems will just drift. but it won't.

i'm still stuck in the point where the end imposes death and the other way, yields the same thing. where i stand feels the safest, yet. but i cannot be stuck here forever.