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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

You Can Stay Under OUR Umbrella

Third year in college and it seems like yesterday when we had our first-day-in-college jitters and anxieties. First year in college is the most dreadful yet promising year one student can have, and so do we. It was like a de ja vu in high school, students, lost, wandering, awkward, shy, making the first best impression, seeing familiar faces, Hi's and hello's here and there, tons of hugging, screaming, giggles, spotting on probable crushes, so many more things I could add to and the list could go on and on and on. Friends are the major life savers during this time. You're lucky when you find someone you know, then you would feel you're not alone in this new world, another jungle of feisty new blood. It's a great comfort having friends around during the first day.

We were all new to the college thing, and all we had was a mustard seed of courage and each other. We felt like we were lost in the dark, groping around, and relieved to have a hand to hold as we take tiny, careful, calculated steps in the dark.

In between breaks are the most precious part we looked forward to each day so we could see each other, wait for our classes and feel a part of something, a belongingness. It felt like when we were together, we are home, secured. The umbrella was our home. It was where we spent most times together, watching our new found crushes pass by, admiring pretty faces that grace our school, checking on who's hot and who's not. The high school habit that is just so hard to get rid of. We shared those times together. Not only good times, but tough ones as well. Failures, terror teachers, classmates hard to get along with, unavoidable classroom tensions, heart breaks, the umbrella was witness to those things. It was a spot where we gather together. It was like a routine to be there when you're free, cause it's sure that someone's waiting for you there and you'll never be alone. We saw to it.

Second year came and everyone started to adjust with everything in school. We were no longer the neophytes, somehow we knew our way around. We somehow found the spark in the dark. We made new friends, formulated special techniques on how to cope with school pressure, learned how to face things alone or with a little help. Our lives became busy, we got consumed by school responsibilities and the regular meeting under the umbrella has taken aback. The frequency slowly died down. From sometimes, to never at all. We had a hard time catching up with each other. It has started to be difficult to get a hold of someone. From long hours of talking to chats, from pausing and sitting for a while to a split-second hi's and hello's. Everything that we did together died a natural death. Different people came to the umbrella for shelter and they also left.

July 13. I had time to spare, to review my notes for a quiz but I found no place to stay for a while. I passed by the umbrella, someone was there, she's doesn't look familiar, another student, another stranger. She was alone. I took a seat. Good memories came back. I saw them again, we were there again, doing things we used to do. Laughing, combing each other's hair, applying nail polish, reviewing lessons, talking...then someone borrowed my pen. Those memories drifted away. I miss them. I really do.